


Matters of Heart

by Sashaya



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M, Overthinking, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9276887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashaya/pseuds/Sashaya
Summary: How to salvage a ship-wreck: inner workings of Jyn Erso and her (illogical) feelings for one Captain Cassian Andor.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nehelena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nehelena/gifts).



> **_Disclaimer:_** _I don't own any of the characters._
> 
>  **A/N** : I was literally challenged to write some kind of "fix-it" by my dearest **_Nehelena_** , who wanted for this ship to make sense. I had surprisingly fun writing Jyn's way of thinking/deepening her psychological profile. There's a possibilty I will dive into it again. Please enjoy!

Jyn knows this, knows this feeling and it makes her mouth curl into a snarl. It’s stupid, illogical and half of her understands the psychology behind her feelings. The other half just screams in frustration.

Cassian is rough around the edges, he tries to cut anyone getting too close but he’s not good. His words don’t cut deep at all, they merely leave an uneasy sting but nothing that cannot be repaired. The way his face saddens after, softens the blows.

Jyn is sure he doesn’t know how to be even a bit mean. He could learn from his droid. Or her.

If she stayed. (She might.)

“The heart is a blind fool” comes a voice near her. Jyn turns, pretends not to be caught by surprise, expecting the blind monk. It’s the monk’s companion and she knows she should learn their names but it wasn’t important so far. 

“There has to be a heart first for it to be blinded” Jyn replies bitterly, easily matching the man’s philosophical tone. 

He laughs, throwing his head back like he heard the best joke since the beginning of time. 

“So you’re this type” he mutters. Jyn isn’t sure she was supposed to hear it. She doesn’t care and judging by the warrior’s careful observation, he doesn’t either. “You’re young and foolish”

“Don’t underestimate me” she snarls. It’s a reflex by now, but it lacks the usual amount of venom in her voice. 

“I’m not” the man replies. There’s a beat of silence before he asks, “What’s your name, girl?” 

Somehow, it makes Jyn smile. 

“Jyn. Your name, big guy?”

“Baze. The reckless fool is Chirrut”

“I’m blind, not deaf” comes from the monk. Baze laughs quietly to himself, his amusement clear as day. 

“Small mercies” he tells his companion in a light voice. 

Jyn can swear she heard something like ‘ _rude_ ’ leaving Chirrut’s mouth. Baze’s smile widens, so she might’ve heard right. They’re an interesting pair. 

Baze’s eyes pierce through Jyn and she barely stops herself from showing off her teeth. It’s a impulse left from her childhood, something she worked on for years and still can’t get rid off of it completely. 

“You look like an animal ready to run” Baze comments. 

“I’m not an animal” she ignores the part about running away. It would be stupid to deny the truth, when she’s sure he could see right through her. 

“No, you’re not” Baze agrees. “Just a wild thing. There are thousand stories behind your eyes”

“I’m not sharing any of them” she says quickly, too quickly. 

“You don’t have to” Baze watches her for a bit. “Still, your heart seems to be in a right place. Seems to even keep beating” he glances briefly at the captain. Jyn’s eyes follows on their own. 

She hates it. 

“It just didn’t realize its dead” she aims for being overdramatic, hoping the warrior will get bored and leave her alone. 

“Liar” Chirrut says without missing a bit. 

Jyn glares at his direction, his smirk making her blood boil. 

“Don’t annoy the girl” Baze tells his friend and he doesn’t sound like he’s just placating her. He turns back to her, “You’re still a liar”

“Ha!” the monks yell triumphantly and Jyn decides to ignore him. She glares at Baze. 

“And how would you know?”

“The force knows” Chirrut says and Baze rolls his eyes. 

“It’s the look on your face, kid” Baze tells her. “You watch him like he’s the first good thing that happened to you in a long time”

 _He’s not wrong_ , Jyn thinks. She won’t say that out loud. Judging by the look on Baze’s face, she doesn’t have to. It annoys her how easily this pair of strangers can read her. 

Cassian laughs at something that the droid said and Jyn’s eyes land on him instantly. 

Something warm spills inside her, makes her lighter and a bit more hopeful. She hates it. 

Jyn knows the mechanics behind her feelings, she might be a wild thing but she’s a smart one at that. She knows that the pressure of the responsibilities placed suddenly on her shoulders – responsibilities that came only with her father’s name but it fell on her, the danger following their steps makes her heart beat faster and her mind is clouded. 

She’s not sure, if they met in different circumstances, she would feel the same. 

Still, it’s easy to listen to her heart. It’s easy thinking, hoping, dreaming of some kind of a happy ending for them both. Together. 

She hates it so much.

“Where did you go, wild thing?” Baze brings her back with his deep voice, anchoring her in the _here_ and _now_. 

“I’m right here” she says, childish stubbornness sneaking in her tone. “Can’t really go anywhere in such a small ship”

Baze doesn’t comment on this, just shakes his head. He looks tired, worn-out and Jyn can’t blame him. It haven’t been long since they saw the destruction of Jedha. 

Grief, the overwhelming loss for someone close to her, also pushes her heart in Cassian’s direction. 

She really could do without this. 

Cassian looks back at them and there’s a small smile on his lips. Jyn smothers a grin of her own before it can fully bloom. 

She hates it but maybe… maybe hoping won’t be so bad. Just for now, just for this moment. 

She’ll let her heart wonder so she can control it. Just to reclaim control. 

It makes sense.


End file.
